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There’s a series going around on Huffington Post about stressing less, in which multiple HuffPo writers have shared a list of things that they have decided are just “not worth the stress.” Some of them are serious, like “worrying that I’m overreacting or having irrational feelings about something,” while others are less so, such as stressing over their disdain for brown rice, “I can’t get on the brown rice bandwagon, and I’ve decided to just allow myself the periodic pleasure of white rice,” or worrying about how much cheese they eat.
One thing I’m very very good at is stressing out about things that are either out of my control, or that in the grand scheme of things just don’t matter. So I decided to jump on the bandwagon and make my own “stress less” list. There are plenty of things that are worth stressing out and worrying about…. like what goes into your body, staying active and healthy, making bad financial decisions, being a good friend, etc… but I’m pretty talented at stressing myself out about a whole slew things of things that are just not worth the time, energy, or, well, the stress.
So here you have it…
8 Things I Decided Are Just Not Worth the Stress
1. Feeling guilty (or weird) about my blog. This is something I’ve been working on since this post. If you don’t have a blog, you might be thinking to yourself, “you stress out about your blog? How stupid is that!” but the answer is yes, I do. Am I posting enough? Am I growing my readership as fast as others are? Do I even really care about growing my readership? Why did that post only get two comments? Did my tone come off wrong? Do people in real life think I’m narcissistic for having a blog? Do I share too much? Am I not sharing enough? Am I turning people off by throwing in the occasional bad word? Along with many more, these are all thoughts that go through my head on a weekly basis. Sad but true. I love my blog and because I love it, sometimes I worry about it. I feel bad when I don’t give my blog the attention I think it deserves, and I sometimes worry about coming off wrong in my posts. But, for those of you that said “that is stupid!” you are right! It is stupid! I blog because I like to, plain and simple. While I should continually aim to post content I’m proud of (which admittedly doesn’t happen all the time), I shouldn’t care so much about everything else. Which leads me to the next thing…
2. Worrying about what people think of me. Okay guys. I have a confession to make. Try as I might not to, I care about what other people think of me. I know admitting that makes me sound insecure, but it’s true. And.. gasp… I want people to like me. I do. When I find out someone doesn’t like me, it hurts my feelings, and sometimes I take it too personally. This one is easier said than done, and it’s a work in progress, but I’m a lot more comfortable in my own skin than I used to be. I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and there are plenty of people out there who like me and I think I’m awesome, so why worry about those that don’t? Not worth the stress.
3. Getting irritated when someone tags me in an unflattering picture on facebook. The other morning I signed on to facebook and saw that I been tagged in a photo from Hawaii. I was in a bathing suit, in a very unflattering position. I looked like I had some major thunder thighs, and I was NOT happy that I had been tagged. I immediately untagged myself, but it had already accumulated quite a few likes (wtf?), and for a good 30 minutes I was annoyed that that picture of me existed on the interwebs and that so many people had seen it (mostly because I am particularly insecure about my thighs).
But seriously? Who do I think I am? It’s a picture. Not life or death. I mean…. there are really no words to describe what a waste of my time focusing on something like that is. Totally not worth the stress.
4. Our small 70s style apartment. Kevin and I have lived in our apartment for over three years. When we first moved in, I don’t think either of us thought we would be here this long. After we got married I was adamant about moving, but it was right around that time that the SF rental also went nuts (check out this infographic for context). For us to get a bigger or nicer place, we would have to pay a good $1000 more a month, and well, a nicer place wasn’t (and isn’t) worth that to us. But, I get incredibly jealous when I visit friends who live in huge remodeled SF apartments, and I start to feel like our remodeled-in-the-70s apartment isn’t nice enough, and I start to stress about everything we should be doing to make it better. When in reality our place is pretty great. We have a two-bedroom apartment in one of the most desirable neighborhoods in the city, and other people in our building are paying $700 more than us a month for the exact same thing. So the fact that our kitchen looks like it was straight out of the Brady Bunch? Who cares. Not worth the stress.
5. Feeling bad about how much TV I watch. Kevin and I watch a lot of television, and I feel like non-tv watchers are always being all judgy and giving us crap about it, telling us what a waste of time it is, how it’s rotting our brains, etc. etc., and then I always feel bad about it. But you know what? I love TV! There are a lot of great shows out there right now. Walking Dead. Breaking Bad. Downton Abbey. Game of Thrones. Girls. Homeland. Dexter. Modern Family. True Blood. And I love them all. Watching them brings joy to my life, and it’s something Kevin and I enjoy doing together. Do I need to watch the Kardashians because I’m bored or hungover on a Sunday? Probably not. But does that mean I should feel bad about it? No. I have a very active and busy life, and TV happens to be a part of it. Not worth the stress.
6. Wrinkles. It seems like everyday I find some new sign of aging. From random sunspots to cleavage wrinkles to my first gray hair, it’s something new all the time. I don’t know if I’m just hyper-aware of everything now that I’m 30, but I’ve been less than pleased with these new developments. However, wrinkles and whatnot are a part of life. Other than taking care of my skin as best I can, there’s not much I can do about it, so I might as well just age gracefully and stop stressing out about it. Plus, doesn’t stress just cause more wrinkles? Sooooo not worth the stress.
7. My lack of baby fever. I feel guilty that I don’t yet want kids. I want to want a baby, but right now, I just don’t, and that worries me. I stress out about my fertility and all the “what ifs” that come along with it. And that is dumb. It will happen when it happens. Not worth the stress.
8. Letting myself get riled up by random people on the internet. Oh man, I don’t even want to admit how often I’ve found myself sitting behind my computer with steam coming out of my ears, just because some random person posted something online that was a big fat lie. When people post stupid ignorant things, I tend to get way too emotionally involved. When Sandy Hook happened and people on twitter and facebook would make comments saying that the answer was more guns, I’d get upset. When people would post things about our heath care system that were blatantly false, I would get angry.
But what a waste of energy! Why should it bother me if someone I went to high school with but haven’t spoken to in years thinks Anne Coulter is awesome? Not worth the stress.
What are some things that you’ve decided just aren’t worth the stress?
Please share in the comments!
Or better yet, if you have a blog,
write a post about it and we can start our own “stress less” series!
P.S. Check out my friend Margaret’s stress less list here!
On Friday night Kevin and I joined some friends for a concert at Bimbo’s in San Francisco.
We live less than a half mile from it, and for months
Kevin has been talking about how ridiculous it is
that we live within walking distance of a pretty decent music venue,
and yet we rarely actually go to concerts
(before me, Kevin used to see music almost every weekend).
So when Kevin saw that Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers were playing,
he was stoked.
I was very unfamiliar with Nicki Bluhm, as well as the rest of the band
(which includes her husband Tim Bluhm of Mother Hips fame).
Plus, Kevin and I don’t always agree on music…
I prefer singer songwriter “coffee house” type music,
whereas Kevin likes jam bands.
I do not like jam bands.
So, I didn’t exactly have the highest of expectations.
But I was wrong. She was fantastic.
I was completely blown away.
She IS a singer songwriter! Not jam band-like in the slightest!
See for yourself:
I also love love love this cover of “Danny’s Song.”
(her original music is really good, too.)
Kevin was in his element.
He ran into about 10 people he knew,
and kept telling me how we need to see more live music
because it makes his soul come alive.
Something that makes your soul come alive?
Well, you can’t really argue against that.
Have you ever heard of Nicki Bluhm?
Okay friends, I know you’re all just dying to hear about my Hawaiian vacation! (and yes, that was sarcasm for those of you that might have thought I was serious.) But hey, I’m dying to share it, so let’s begin!
The reason behind this trip was for our friends Hemant and Cathie’s wedding. We were so excited and happy for them, but we were especially happy that their wedding was in Hawaii. It “forced” us to plan a vacation to a place we have both been wanting to go. Years ago (as in high school) I went to Kauai and Maui, but I had never been to Oahu. Kevin has never been to Hawaii at all. We were both extremely excited, but for some reason, probably because I’ve heard that Oahu isn’t as great as some of the other islands, I suppose you could say I had lowered expectations. Because of that, I was completely (and pleasantly) surprised by how much I absolutely loved it there. Kevin and I pretty much drove around the whole island, and each part was unique and gorgeous, and the natural beauty literally took your breath away. Basically 90% of movies or TV shows that are filmed in Hawaii are filmed in Oahu, so obviously the place is stunning. The lush green mountain ranges to the awe-inspiring coastlines to the shrimp trucks on the side of the road… I loved it all.
Sleep Best Places to Stay in Oahu
Our friends that live in Hawaii suggested that we stay in Kailua as opposed to Waikiki and I am soooooo glad that we listened to them. Waikiki and Honolulu are great, but they are completely different from the rest of the island. Kailua is this small residential area where mostly locals live. It’s where Obama stays when he visits. It’s where Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly lived while filming LOST. It’s reputed to have the best beaches on the island. There are no hotels in the area, but there are plenty of house rentals, and they are cheap! Kevin and I stayed at this studio through Airbnb and we couldn’t get over how cheap it was. It was a mere two-minute walk to the beach, a 15 minute walk to town, and it had a deck with views of the mountains. The unit itself was a little outdated, but for the price, we were more than satisfied. (Also, the owner of the house is also the founder of the old band Spyro Gyra, a fact that means absolutely nothing to me, but made Kevin very excited).
From my (limited) experience, most of the hotels on the island are huge resorts. Waikiki is full of them. We didn’t stay there, but some of our friends stayed at the Trump International Hotel and loved it. The wedding itself was held on the west side of the island at Ko Olina Resort, and it was stunning. I’ve also heard amazing things about Turtle Bay Resort on the north side of the island. If big resorts are your thing, I don’t think you can go wrong with any of those. There are also some awesome boutique hotels in the area, like Hotel Renew and Aqua Lotus, which tend to be more my style.
Eat Where to Eat in Oahu
If you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time, you know how much I love food. Kevin and I plan full vacations around where we will be eating, so I was very very very excited to spend my days eating fresh seafood and drinking fancy cocktails. But… and I really hate to say this… I was not that impressed with the food. I’m sure there are some amazing places to eat, we just didn’t eat at any of them. We ate at all the places recommended to us, and trust me, I did A LOT of research prior to going (yelp is my bff), but nothing was that great. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that we live in San Francisco. We are used to a really high standard when it comes to eating out, and the food we ate in Oahu just paled in comparison.
However, it wasn’t all a total bust. The Grove in Kailua was very good, and the Shrimp Trucks in the north shore provided us with the best shrimp of our life. I’m serious. I’ve never had shrimp that good. Ever. It’s worth a trip to the North Shore for the shrimp trucks alone. We ate at Hono’s, but I don’t think you can go wrong with any of them.
Drink Bars in Oahu
I only went to a handful of bars so I’m no expert, but the bar I saw Daniel Dae Kim (aka JIN!!!) at was the REAL a Gastropub in Honolulu, and hey, if it’s good enough for Jin, it’s good enough for me! Also, they had candied bacon which they served in little cups. I mean… bacon candy. They win. After the wedding, I had an absolute blast at Ohana Karaoke in Kailua, where I befriended another wedding guest that looked EXACTLY like Kristen Stewart (and who I am pretty sure now thinks I am a lesbian due to me telling her over and over and over again how pretty she was, and saying “it’s like I’m hanging out with Bella!” numerous times), and sang awkward spice girls karaoke with. “I tell ya what I want, what I really really want…” I’m sure what the bar wanted was for us to shut up, but oh well. Jessica, Oahu local, also told me to check out barefoot bar in Waikiki, but unfortunately my husband and I never made it over there. We also had some drinks at Buzz’s Lanakai, which was great but less beachy than we had expected. However, the best “bar” we went to was the Sandbar in Kaneohe bay, which leads me into…
Do Things to Do in Oahu
Hands down one of the most fun things we did was spend an afternoon at the Kaneohe Bay Sandbar. Basically, you get an a boat and drive about two miles into the ocean, where suddenly, a sandbar appears, and you hang out, in water, eating and drinking in the sun, in the middle of the ocean, all day long. It was suuuuuuuper windy when we went and because of that a little cold, but we still had a blast. This was organized for us through our friends, but if you google “kaneohe bay sandbar tour” you can find a lot of tours/activities that can get you there. Also, bring a sweatshirt. I did not bring a sweatshirt to Hawaii, so I ended up buying one at the salvation army on the way there for $6.99. It smelled like old people but it did its job, and I ended up wearing it more than I thought I would throughout the weekend.
Due to packing restraints (well, let’s be honest, and general laziness), Kevin and I didn’t pack any hiking shoes. So… we didn’t go on any hikes. However, lots of other people did, and we wish we did, so learn from our mistakes and bring some hiking shoes. There are so many beautiful hikes in the area… Lanikai Pillboxes Hike… Diamond Head… Moanalua Falls… the list goes on and on. Since we couldn’t hike but still wanted to see some great views, we drove to the Nuuanu Pali Lookout and it was incredible. Totally worth a half hour of your day.
But let me tell you, it was WINDY. Very very windy.
Also, beware of flying bees.
I did not particularly care for that information.
As I mentioned above, the North Shore is worth going to for the shrimp trucks alone, but it’s also where the hugest waves are. We only saw some 15 foot waves, but based on when you go, the waves can get up to 40 feet high! Craziness! On our way there, we stopped at Byodo-In Temple which was stunning. It’s a replica of a 900 year old temple in Japan, and was built in 1968 in honor of the 100 year anniversary of the first Japanese immigrants to Hawaii. As mentioned in my other post, it’s also where a lot of scenes between Jin and Sun in LOST were shot. But that aside, it’s gorgeous and worth checking out.
Our last day was a little overcast and windy, so instead of lounging on the beach (and thus fighting sand in our face), we went to Kualoa Ranch. It’s a private property so you have to buy a pass or tour to enter it, but it’s worth it. It’s gorgeous. All those jungle valley scenes you see in LOST? They were shot there. So, needless to say, it excited me.
One thing we didn’t do was stop by Laniakea Beach in the North Shore and see the giant turtles. I learned about this after we had already gone to the North Shore, so it just didn’t happen for us. But if we go back, I’ll definitely want to stop by.
Lastly, I know a lot of people out there consider a luau a must-do when visiting Hawaii. Kevin and I are not a lot of people, so this wasn’t a priority to us, but I heard that the Luau at Paradise Cove in Ko Olina is one of the best.
Getting Around Oahu Car Rental
If you want to do any sort of exploring at all, you need to rent a car. Kevin and I were told by friends that we didn’t need to rent a car because we could walk to the beach and town, and take taxis when we needed to. That ended up not being the case. Unless you are staying in Waikiki with no plans of going anywhere else, you need a car. Because we didn’t plan ahead, we ended up renting a car once we got there for an exorbitant price, but it was so worth it. We would have felt so trapped without one. So plan ahead, and rent a car. Taxis are available but they are not the most reliant, and they are super expensive, and hard to come by at night. We waited for almost an hour for a taxi that never came, and ended up getting a ride back to our house with some strangers that, once in the car, we realized were absolutely hammered. Fortunately, we made it home safe and sound, but, that said, DO NOT LET DRUNK PEOPLE DRIVE YOU HOME. We were lucky. If you are going out and drinking, leave the car at home, suck it up and organize a taxi in advance. Eco cab in Honolulu is reliable, you just have to plan ahead.
And because this post wouldn’t be complete without at least one picture of the wedding, which is, after all, why we went to Hawaii in the first place, enjoy this eye candy of the beautiful bride and groom.
Congrats Hemant and Cathie! We were so honored to be part of this day.
Have you ever been to Oahu? Let me know if you have recommendations!
I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this here on my blog, but I am a bonified LOST fanatic. Huge. The hugest. I love it so much that a few months ago, I re-watched all six seasons. And it was awesome. The fact that I’m only slightly embarrassed by the fact that I’ve spent close to 100 hours of my life re-watching something I’ve already seen is a clear testament of my undying love and dedication of this show.
After a lovely wedding welcome party on Friday night, a lot of the guests went to some random bar in Honolulu. It was fun, as bars are wont to be, but it had been a long day and I was getting tired.
I was ready to leave.
Suddenly, Kevin came up to me and exclaimed “JIN IS HERE!”
Those words were like drugs to me.
Any and all fatigue went away instantly.
It needs to be noted that I’m not exactly good at playing it cool.
I get starstruck incredibly easy…
D-list celebrities make me excited.
So to have my beloved Jin, an A-list celebrity in my book, within arms reach of me?!?
I just couldn’t believe it.
People kept telling me to just go up and ask for a picture,
but he was deep in conversation and I thought it would be rude.
So instead, I became super creepy and proceeded to walk by the table he was sitting at multiple times, pretending to go to the bathroom. Then I just stood in the corner for awhile, and pretended to look at my phone while really looking at him.
Eventually it was time to go, and as soon as I left the bar, I tweeted that I JUST SAW JIN!
and because I was a little drunk, I also tagged him in it.
What happened next was magical.
Daniel Dae Kim
replied to my tweet.
The simple “no problem. :)” sent me into a wave of euphoria. I squealed with such delight that you would have thought Channing Tatum had just taken his clothes off for me.
It made my whole day.
Let’s be honest…
it’s pretty much the highlight of my 2013 thus far.
Sad but true.
Anyway, being such a big LOST fan, I wanted to go to all the LOST spots… the survivors’ beach, the others camp, the dharma housing, Hurley’s golf course… I wanted to see it all!
But… this was Kevin’s vacation too, and while he loves LOST, he does not share my complete and utter obsession. Plus, I too wanted to enjoy my vacation and not spend hours driving around looking for random locations of a show that ended three years ago. So we decided to do what we wanted to do, go where we wanted to go, and if a LOST location happened to fall along the way, we would make a pit stop and check it out.
And without even meaning to, I had quite the LOST experience….
Here I am pretending to be Kate hiding from the smoke monster in the banyan trees.
Except I look much less scared.
(or maybe I’m pretending to be Claire because clearly that dress makes me look pregnant.)
Here is the Byodo-in temple, where Jin and Sun got engaged!
I do believe that is Hurley’s golf course!
And because I just couldn’t help myself..
OMG it’s totally like I’m one of them!!!
And there you have my LOST Hawaii experience.
More (real) details on Hawaii to come tomorrow.
Any of you as crazy as I am when it comes to LOST?
Remember a few months ago when I wrote about how excited Kevin was to use his clear membership?
Probably not, but the gist is that with his clear membership, he gets to whiz past airport security,
while everyone else, INCLUDING ME, stands in line waiting.
And waiting some more.
For the past few months, whenever we have traveled together,
he goes directly to the very front of the security line, bypassing literally everyone,
while I stand in line like a lowly commoner
(but you better believe I make him take all my luggage).
He LOVES his clear membership.
When we travel he talks about it ALL. THE. TIME.
Well, apparently they love him, too….
Meet my husband, the CLEAR Spokesperson:
(If the video isn’t working, click here and scroll down to watch the first video)
While I was waiting in the security line on our way to Hawaii,
he sped past me and apparently had himself a little video shoot.
(I love how he specifically points out that his wife is stuck in line.)
Anyway, this was a very stupid little post,
but we both laughed hysterically when we saw it,
so I knew I had to share it here.
Happy Tuesday friends!
Do you have CLEAR in your city?