“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
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Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!
I am beyond thrilled and thankful to work for one of the companies that lets their employees have this day off. At past jobs I’ve always had to work, so this is an unexpected and lovely treat.
I hope that you too are able to enjoy some rest and relaxation today, and that you take a few minutes to honor and pay respect to MLK. If ever there was a man to inspire, he was it. We’ve made a lot of progress but we are still working to bring his dream of love and nonviolence to fruition.
As for me, I’m trudging along. I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. I’m just so frustrated with this whole LASIK experience. My eyes were slowly getting better (keyword being slowly) but yesterday I woke up and both eyes hurt and burned considerably more than they had been and it felt like a major setback. It was a beautiful day and every single person I knew was getting ready to watch the 49ers game. My eyes were bugging out so I told Kevin to go along without me and that once my eyes felt better I would come meet up. I took a shower, and I don’t know what happened, but when I came out both eyes were burning severely. Despite being extremely paranoid when I take a shower (it takes me about 20 minutes because I’m so scared of getting anything in or near my eyes…I pretty much sponge bath myself), I must have gotten something in them, probably water (yes – just water – you are not supposed to get them wet!), and they started burning and swelling and I just came out of the shower and had a “woe is me” pity party and started to cry.
I wasn’t crying because of the pain (though I was in pain), I was just so frustrated with this whole experience. I’m run down. I’ve been in some level of pain or discomfort for 11 days straight. I wake up in the middle of the night every night because my eyes are burning and I need to put in eye drops. The only time I’ve been remotely comfortable is when I’m either 1) drinking, or 2) laying in a dark room with my eyes closed. And I’m just tired of it.
What makes me even more mad is that I still don’t know exactly what is wrong with me or what happened. All I’ve been told is that I fell in the 1-2% of people that unfortunately have complications from the surgery and get corneal abrasions from the procedure, and that “everyone heals differently.” They haven’t told me why it happened or how long I’ll feel this way. They don’t seem to care. My friend Carolyn used to work in ophthalmology and she said it sounds like a combo of corneal abrasions and severe dry eye, and while google seems to have confirmed her thoughts, I really don’t know. All I do know is that it’s been 11 days and I’m still in pain.
Also – no surprise here, but never google! All it really does is help confirm your worst fears and further freak you out. Reading testimonial after testimonial from people describing their severe eye issues resulting from LASIK doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.
I do believe that my eyes will get better. I just don’t know when. And I can’t help but wonder if this would have happened if I went with another surgeon? Maybe. Maybe not. The LASIK surgeon said I’d feel pain or discomfort for “at the very most” 48 hours and then after that it would be like “a miracle.” I’m sure that is the case for most people (it was for the three other people I know that went to him), but it hasn’t been for me, and I wish I had been more prepared for the possible complications that can occur.
But. Such is life. I just have to wait and hope and trust that they will eventually heal. It seems like it’s been forever, but it’s only been 11 days. Google told me that epithelial cells can take three to six weeks to reproduce and heal, so I just have to give it time.
Sorry for the vent, and thanks for reading.
My eyes might hurt, but life is still good.