Alternately Titled: Zodor Hates Me
For those of you non-SF locals, the Muni is the city’s public transportation line. Some people love it, though most people hate it. There are certain bus lines that I absolutely despise (I’m talking to you 27!), but some of them are not so bad. The 41 and the 30 are generally the yuppie buses, full of nice, clean, normal-looking people that all live around the marina. But sometimes you get some creepers on even those…
Let’s rewind to Thursday night.
Kevin and I have just finished dinner on Union Street. We hop on the bus to go home. It’s pretty empty. A few blocks later, a teeny tiny Asian woman gets on. She sits two seats away from me.
A couple minutes later, I randomly start coughing. The woman suddenly starts copying me, coughing at the exact same time as me, but in a mocking way. At first I thought this was just a random coincidence. But then I coughed again, and she did it again, and I looked at her face and she was GLARING at me with pure evil!
“Is this for real?!?” I said to Kevin. He said yes, and explained that she had been staring at us the whole time and was clearly crazy and that I shouldn’t look over at her.
The little Asian lady then starts playing some weird religious psychobabble on her iPhone, on speaker, with the volume turned all the way up. I can’t really hear it but I randomly make out words like “abomination” and “sin.”
Finally it’s our stop, and as Kevin and I go to get off the bus, the woman looks directly at us and proceeds to lean back and stick BOTH her legs straight up, trying to block our way!
Like this, but with both legs!
Fortunately, her legs were very short, so even sticking them straight out, Kevin and I could get by.
As soon as we get past her, we both start laughing hysterically, because, I mean, really?!? Is this real life?
And at that, she starts YELLING at us “Zodor hates you!” over and over again.
We got off, the doors closed, but she didn’t stop. As the bus rolled away, she continued to glare at us through the window and yell who knows what.
We both stood there, kind of in shock, laughing hysterically, and wondering if that really just happened.
And while it was absolutely hilarious, it was also kind of creepy. This lady seemed to really hate us! She was passionate about it! And she believed whatever it was that she was yelling at us, that was for sure.
Kevin thinks that since this happened the same day I wrote about Scientology, that she was some Scientology spy sent to monitor me.
And while he said that totally kidding, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was any truth to it? Because the one thing I know is that Scientology is batshit crazy. Perhaps Zodor is pals with Xenu, and they don’t like me talking shit?
Just another day in San Francisco.